Saucy Sunday at Safeway

 

By Jason Jones

Working night shift security at Safeway was not Louie’s idea of a great time, but his mom needed help with the rent and now that he was 18 it was time for him to pitch in. It was just a few blocks from home, and it wasn’t like his nights were usually that busy anyway. When an opening came up he applied, and he started almost right away. Oddly enough, it was Halloween night.

“Just walk the aisles to make sure there are no problems, kid, and check out in the parking lot once in a while,” his boss said. “Nothing much happens around here. Bring a book or something to keep yourself entertained. You get one free soda per shift.”

Louie did not like reading much, but it was almost Halloween and he happened to see a book about vampires. He clocked in at 10 p.m. as the regular staff were heading out, found a comfortable place to sit in the cafe, then dug in to read up on blood-sucking monsters.

It was a pretty good book, but after a couple of hours Louie started to nod off. He had his one free soda already, and the caffeine wasn’t going to keep him awake all night. He decided to walk around the aisles like the boss said.

All of a sudden, he heard a strange voice coming from the Halloween display in the back of the store.

“Ivanasuckyourblood…”

What the heck? Louie got out his flashlight and went closer.

The pretend coffin (at least it was supposed to be pretend) burst open and a pale white vampire just like the ones from his book was standing right in front of him!

“You look delicious, young man,” the vampire said. “Come a little closer.”

Louie’s eyes widened and he froze where he stood. How was this possible? Yikes!

He remembered reading that garlic could ward off vampires, so Louie bolted for the produce aisle. The vampire was right behind him.

“Get away from me!” Louie shouted.

“Just one little taste,” the vampire replied.

Louie found the garlic and hurled clove after clove at the vampire. It kind of worked and the vampire reeled, but he did not slow down by much.

“That only works in the books, young man,” the vampire said. 

Louie was about to give up, but out of the corner of his eye he spotted a bottle labeled Sarah’s Secret Sauce. What was the secret? Could this work better than garlic? Anything was worth a shot.

Just as the vampire was about to bite him, Louie pointed the bottle at his mouth and squeezed with all his might. The sauce went right in.

“AAARGH!” the vampire yelled. 

The vampire paused.

“Actually, that tastes pretty good. What is that?”

“It’s called Sarah’s Secret Sauce,” Louie said. “Do you want some more? Does this mean that you won’t suck my blood?"

The vampire took the bottle, scratched his chin, then took another swig.

“This just might be your lucky night,” the vampire said. “You are a saucy young man, and for now that sauce has saved your life. Happy Halloween.”

“Happy Halloween to you, too, sir,” Louie said. “Need a napkin?”

THE END 🦇